Dementia Friends

The journey of dementia is a journey like no other. It makes you realise that every moment is a precious treasure and that there is truly no time to waste. We all know the very last chapter in our book of life that awaits us. It really taught me that all we have is today and that we have to make the best of it. Memories are the timeless treasures of the heart, and all the elderly individuals affected with dementia have endless amounts of existing yet fragmented experiences, tales and adventures that are yearning to be told to us, the youth.

Joining the DEMCARES program has been truly a life changing experience for me. I was paired with one of the most dynamic and pioneering persons I have had the pleasure of knowing. A driving and passionate individual, she has lived a vitalizing and productive life, contributing to the fields of education, science and literature in her lifetime.Being paired at first, I was a tad bit nervous about what to expect from my new partner. I was preparedafter an orientation, observations at the Centre for Active ageing, and of course the support and backing of a well experienced and empathetic team, guiding each step. The program consisted of doing weekly house visits with your new client, and administering cognitive stimulating therapy, at the same time keeping the individual engaged with their interests or activities.

You get a bird’s eye view of the individual’s lifestyle, family members, history and moreover, you become a part of it. Going to my client’s house was so enjoyable, that we would have conversations for several minutes about life and all its adventures, at the same time watch movies, play board and card games, listen to music and also play games online. This not only formed a bond for life, but rather made me realise that how neglected and lonely the elderly really are. Despite the dementia isolating them, they feel empty and alone, with all their closest family members away from them busy in their lives. All they need is just a friend to talk to them or spend time, in short give them a sense of hope even in their loneliest and most important stages of life. There is no greater joy than leaving my partners house, knowing that we spent productive time together, where we made each other laugh and share tales from both our experiences with life. She would tell me how she took a ship from Chennai to England during pre-independence days. I would teach her games like UNO and Quiz up.

They may forget what you say but they will never forget how you made them feel. It was truly an experience where we both benefited tremendously with each other’s company. I had would always have tears in my eyes when she would call me her granddaughter or make sure I haven’t left the house empty-stomached.  We always had a lot to offer and tell each other things about our day and week. At the end of the internship, I realised that we must give back to our elderly not only as a form of respect, but rather it must be our duty to aid those who have raised us as a generation and hence that leads to us raising generations to help those who cannot live independently creating a dementia- friendly society . Interacting with caregivers, made me realise that they are happiest and grateful having someone come over and spend time with their loved one. In short, my experience has been nothing short of wonderful, and I urge everyone to come and have a sense of this marvellous bonding between two generations. The greatest gift you can ever give somebody is your time, the greatest gift that they will give you are blessings in return.

By, Vriti Bajaj